Friday, October 12, 2012

Daily Imperfection: One of those Days

Today turned out to be what I call "one of those days." You know, the ones where everything is just kind of in a funk from the start? Not really a bad day necessarily, just an "off day." Those are the kind of days that make me feel like I just can't wait until tomorrow, a different and new day. But I've really been working on trying not to wish away my time. This is all the time we get, after all, so why not live it with grace? It's been no easy task to simply "accept things the way they are" as nice as that always sounds. But the path I have been on - trying to let go of perfection and accept reality for what it is - has actually delivered me to "just accept it."

The reason why today was "one of those days" is because I knew I needed to make a doctor's appointment, but was resisting. Thankfully, I followed the advice of my wonderful husband, who encouraged me this morning to just make the call and go in. But, it being a Friday where the clinic I go to has limited hours and it's hard to get last minute appointments at this place anyway, I was not optimistic. I called and the office put me in for an "on call" appointment, meaning they would call me within the next four hours. Just what I wanted to hear, right? Does that mean in thirty minutes, or the whole four hours - I'd never know. But I hung up, satisfied that I had at least broke down to make the appointment, even if it was lost in limbo for the time being.

The doctor's actually ended up calling me quickly, within an hour, but - of course - right in the middle of my workout. Typical. So I had to give up on my workout (oh, darn...) and go to the doc's. The whole experience at the doctor's office took me nearly two hours, though! I was seen quickly, but then asked if I wanted to wait around for the test results and then possibly get medication. I said I would wait, but I ended up waiting about an hour and fifteen minutes! They said they would call me when the results were back, so I could leave and then come back. I did leave and went to Dunkin Donuts (and had a very disappointing and dry apple orchard donut) and window shopped for a while, trying to take my time but listen for the call. Well, no one ever called me, and after over an hour, I decided it was time to head back to bug them. They saw me again and confirmed my results, telling me I needed some meds. But then I had to go to the pharmacy to wait for those for twenty minutes... You see what I mean about one of those days now?

Things just weren't adding up. An interrupted workout, driving to the docs all post-workout gross and not showered, waiting for quite a while, and a girl can't even get a good donut! But - not to worry. This is where the acceptance part comes in. Yeah, I may seem a little complainy and cranky now, but while all of this was happening to me - I just grinned and beared it. No, it wasn't what I had planned. Yes, it ate up a big chunk of my day. Thankfully, I really had made no plans or goals for the day. While driving home from the doctor's, I realized that yes, these were not the circumstances I had planned for or wanted. But I also realized that I needed to go home and just rest. I had made no plans as of yet, just had the whole day free. And yet now, I was put in a position to, instead of race around and be productive (and oh, maybe clean the apartment before my in-laws come in tonight!), just relax and have a day of rest. I really felt the Lord just calling me to stop with all the pressure I put on myself. No, today isn't going to be a super productive feel-good day. Today is a sit-at-home-and-feel-sickly-and-have-a-dog-on-my-lap day. And hallelujah for that!

Doesn't everyone deserve a little break sometimes? Just a free day to say, yes - I will wear pajamas all day (truth)! And why the heck not? Sometimes I find myself working so hard (even when I'm not doing anything or actually "working" per say) to just be so productive and have so much action going on in my life. Every once in a while, God will quickly whisper to me to relax, take a deep breath, and forget about it - the chores, all the books I want to read, the emails I need to send, the tasks on my to do list - all of it. Just. Let. It. Go. And I am so thankful that He does allow for this. One of my favorite verses that reflects this idea is Zephaniah 3:17, which reads, "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." How awesome is that? The Lord delights in us, He quiets us with His great love, and He rejoices over us with singing! For the longest time, I used to equate times of rest with negative feelings (and sometimes I still do), but this verse is a reminder that the Lord is happy with us in what we do, rest included. I don't have to perform endlessly to be loved by the Lord. He is so good to provide rest when we need it. Although I am not happy to be sick, I am thankful in this trial because of what He has called me to do: rest! I haven't done much today, and you know what? It's freeing to think that that is okay. :) 

Do you struggle with getting enough rest? Is your life busied with action, even when you're not at work? Take some time to rest today, in whatever way makes sense to you. Take a bath, read a book (a fun one, not homework or work material!), take a walk - let go of the every day stresses that keep you tied to our addicted-to-action culture. And have a blessed day! 

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